sleft slept slept
bad dreams
unpleasant dreams
just things that are dreams
greatly dehydrated
in pain pain pain. waking but not being able to wake up, no ones there to latch on to, can't face the world and the internet which is my fallback go-to to latch in need.
hate the frailties of my mind my body my will my work my cognition my neurology my ligaments muscles and fat and body mass and metabolism and insulin receptivity and genes and collagen elasticity.
cannot access anything but these frailties and deficiencies.
knowledge that i was brave enough to try and to go on for 7 miles and that i raised money was processed some time ago and horrifically has no bearing on me now - just the bleakness
the one recurring insistent proud beep is that my mate Becca made it, she did she did she did and I am so glad so proud.
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